In 2007, Robin and I decided to officially collaborate on our first theatrical production as LionHeart Theatrics at the 5th Annual Fest. We produced Act Without Words I & II. It was very successful and a delight to work with Ernest, his wife, Fran, and all the other collaborators that year. That experience brought back floods of great memories of my time in Chicago with Defiant Theatre--working in dusty, cold, less-than-desirable conditions in order to produce something very special and meaningful for our audiences and ourselves. In the attached letter, I feel Ernest comes down hard on himself, but my wife quickly and deftly tries to pick him back up. Her response follows his letter.
I can't go on.
I've learned a lot from former President GW Bush. You won't hear many people say that, which is a shame because he made enough mistakes to educate everyone on how to avoid causing multiple disasters. The main disaster that comes to mind is the multi-trillion dollar cluster-fuck we've come to know and love as the Iraq War. Completely high on the idea of American righteousness, he refused to listen to the U.N. Inspectors and instead took the warhawk advice from Dick "The Penguin" Cheney, and invaded the nation with enough shock and awe to give the U.S. complete access to the sleeping scorpion. Weeks into the invasion it was clear that the "Weapons of Mass Destruction" didn't exist and the hundreds of lives and billions of dollars were a waste.
Now, at this point, Former (I love saying that) President G.W.Bush could have stepped back a few feet from the situation, realized that he was lied to about the supposed "smoking gun", turned to the American people, and simply stated "there is no point in going any further, we were wrong" and, like Catholic birth control, pulled out. He would have saved 5000+ U.S. soldiers' lives, 100,000+ Iraqi civilians' lives, and trillions of dollars (which, by the way, would have paid for Single Payer Health Care for the next 30 years). Instead of shedding his own ego, taking the political blows, and dealing with the very real situation that there would be no end in sight, he arrogantly trudged the nation deeper and deeper into an ever-expanding problem that he agitated with each passing minute. At the end of the day, even the chest-thumping Glen Beck fans have to wonder if it was all worth it.
It is no coincidence that active battle is refered to as "theater" in the military.
The Annual Samuel Beckett Festival started out as a challenge between two friends who were bored to death of producing comedy...or, more accurately, it was a demonstration of skill to keep both of us (Test Market is a two person opperation) from being cemented into the "comedy" category. It was a one-night only performance stunt in a junk yard (aka The KGPA) witnessed by a total of 30 random strangers. The lighting "system" consisted of two par cans tied (literally) to 2X4s, and the "stage" was the concrete slab that happened to be in front of a trailer on the property. 6 years later we found ourselves in a 20k square foot warehouse, producing multiple shows over a period of four weeks and operating at an average loss of 10k per year. Prior to Holland Hemmings' arrival into this world we (Test Market) chalked up the losses as "collateral damage" and, like former President Bush, trudged forward, even when all signs pointed to "crazy".
Is it still worth it? Should I double down on stupid? Spending 2 months away from my family is equivilent to abondoning them (I am amazed that single mothers don't go complete batshit). To what nitwit purpose will all this serve in the end aside from expanding the entertainment options in this town by one? As I begin to re-learn Endgame and make frantic phone calls to fill roles in this and other plays, I'm kept awake at night asking myself these questions over and over.
No. It's not.
The beginning is at the end? Quite possibly. In any case it seems that I would be able to contribute more to the art community by buying art than producing the 7th installment of the Iraq War. So this is me pulling the plug. This is me admitting that there are no weapons of mass destruction and making my troops go back home. A non-traditionalist creating a tradition seems absurd enough on its own, but moving forward for the sake of ego is (as the Weatherman/Negativland would say) totally stupid.
So this is the end. We appreciate your support of this enormous effort, but we have to close the doors and narrow our vision. I'm sure you can understand.
Kind Regards,
Ernest Hemmings
Test MarketAnd Robin's response...
RIP Beckett Festival!!!! You will be missed...
Ernest, I truly wish some cushy sponsorship would pop up to make it a winning situation for you, your family and and your audience, but that does not seem forthcoming, alas!
The only thing I don't agree with in your statement is when you said you would have kept it going for ego. You are more like Obama than Bush, my friend, if we must beat the presidential analogy senseless, and I believe your mission was an altruistic (not egotistic) one: to give the gift of theater to your neon-dazzled Vegas community. I was the lucky recipient of that gift, as well as a participant. Taking part in the Beckett Festival with you, Fran, Wes, Andy, the musicians, and my man Jimmy was a supreme highlight of my time in Vegas, and I cherish the memory. Hell, even my camper van had a drive-on role! It was pure, hard-core, underground, messy, artful magic. I left a bit of my heart in that dusty warehouse, and Jim literally left his blood on the stage. I thank you for your time and love and dedication, and the memories will be with us forever.
Much love to you and the family and blessings on all your future endeavors!
~Robin
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